It is over three months now since Mum, Ami, died, and as we plan our Christmas it will be very different without her there. Previously I would have hosted her at my place on Christmas Day. I could not leave her in her aged care residence (aka, her prison) on Christmas day. We might not do anything too special, but a least she could get out for the day.
This year, I will go to my younger brother Darryl and his partner Kay’s for lunch, then come home to a Christmas dinner with my housemate Chrissie. She has no immediate family to spend the day with either.
I had wondered before Mum died how I would be after her passing, whether I would be inconsolable with grief after the loss of such a significant relationship. I have found that for me this has not been the case. After the road trip I went on to scatter her ashes, and the celebration we had for her at Gondwana I have been happy to get on with my life.
I am proud of myself. Today I had my first public speaking event with Grimshaw Probus Club in Melbourne’s North Eastern Suburbs. One of many I hope.
I spoke on The Dangers of Love in the Online world: My experience of an online romance scam. It was very well received, and I think many people now have a different take on what happens in a scam.
Here is a quotable quote from me, based on Brene Brown’s concept of ‘daring greatly’, which she takes from Theodore Roosevelt.
In being open to love, and going on to an online dating site I “dared greatly”. Like the person on the field who looses, I lost. I played the wrong game, or played the game wrongly. But at least I was playing. And I need to not take it personally and keep playing.